Saturday 16 March 2024

Be A Real Man

 This is a video that isn't mine, but I liked it and it made me smile. Hugh and Fiona are going through a tougher time due to Fiona breaking her leg quite badly. It talks about the discuss of roles in a relationship and how you need to be able to step into each others shoes should you need to. 

I think it embodies how I feel about some things. Sometimes when I give my talks I discuss the fact that I went from doing a the very "manly" (traditionally anyway - I know anyone can do it) job of being a carpenter, to becoming a stay at home dad. and how that made me feel and how I saw other people's attitudes to me change, especially with my wife being the bread winner. 

Changing my days from working on roofs and hanging doors to looking after the children and making sure I had tea on the table when my wife got home from work. I left what is quite often a toxic industry when it comes to male chauvinistic attitudes. The guy who trained me to be a carpenter still won't cook tea, even if he gets back before his wife from work and never does any of the housework. 

I like to think we share our workload well here and that my wife and I are a brilliant team (unless you judge us on how tidy our home is - lol). I don't like the unfair split that sometimes exists, although sometimes I'm sure we may feel a little that it is one sided here, especially when things are busy. I like that our children see us equally in any of the household tasks, and yes we have things we're better at, or recipes we won't do because our partner does it better, etc. 

The children are involved in this as well. If I have to go off in an evening (a regular occurrence at the moment) I won't ask my wife to complete the chores I need done, instead I'll normally ask the Middlest to organise it, she'll drag her brother and sister along and get what needs doing done. They all understand helping each other in our family unit makes it easier and makes it so we can do more. 

What really choked with the video above was the mention Hugh gives me at the end. I'm never quite sure how you're meant to feel as a parent, a lot of the time it feels like I'm winging it, and only sometimes does it feel like you're getting it right. So it was great to have a nice mention, hopefully it'll push me to be an even better husband and father in the future and keep on pushing. 


  1. Hubby and I swap roles, he loves to cook and do laundry, I clean and I'm happiest outside in the garden, having said that we mix things up. My daughters grew up as this being 'normal', youngest daughter married, her husband comes from a home, where traditional role modes are strongly followed, so for ages, he did nothing in the home. He still can't cook very well, and often gets a takeaway or his mum pops over on evenings when daughter is not there to cook

    1. My mum would be mortified if she thought I couldn't cook - although that said she would like it if I cleaned a bit better and a bit more!

  2. As you know, I have a similar story to yours except that I was an engineer before becoming a stay at home dad. It definitely can me a bit emasculating at times but I see the benefits it has had on our children versus how they were when we both held down jobs. For me, that alone is worth the price of doing it this way and fortunately, I was born with fairly thick skin which helps.

    1. Yeah, for one of us to be here for them all the time is amazing. I grew up always having at least one parent at home, at one stage they both ran their businesses from the farm, dad farming and agricultural engineering and mum had a dried flower business, plus my Cousin was always there as well. I think I grew up feeling supported because of that and it gave me so many skills without even realising it.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...