Saturday 6 May 2023

Homesteading/Smallholder GUILT - Do You Suffer With It?

 This is probably the most candid video I've done, just me chatting to the camera about the constant guilt I feel in my gut. 

Funny, as really I'm just talking to myself, but once I started I struggled to stop. It does feel a bit like I'm putting myself out there with this one. 

Let me know if you suffer with the same, or what you do to combat it.

Much love. 

10 comments:

  1. Kev, I think those of us who have chosen this lifestyle always feel that we can be doing more. We are doers, and it doesn't feel natural to be any other way. The one thing that I have marveled at with your blog, is the quality of life you are giving your children. They are already so skilled and knowledgeable about so many things. What could be more important than that? I know you said tv is a waste of time, but I think guilt is even more so. Guilt is only relevant when an intentional harm was done. You are doing your best, and that's enough. Blessings...

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    1. Thank you Daisy, I like what you're saying about guilt, it is a waste of time, and that's a good way of thinking about it. Not sure that'll stop it, but it's a good way to slowly change my mindset a little.

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  2. I think when you write it down you achieve your plans for the future.

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  3. Oh Kev, you do so much already, you really don't need to feel guilty, (in fact you make ME feel guilty, haha!) and I agree with everything that Daisy has said. I am one of those who cannot sit down and relax as well, I haven't got a smallholding or anything, but it's just one of those things, there's always something to do and it's usually me that does them.If I sit down for a moment I'm like you, I think I could be doing such and such, sometimes I realise at 6pm that I haven't actually sat down since 7am. But I think it's healthy to be on the move all the time, like you I don't watch a lot of telly in the evening, it's on, my husband watches, but instead I'm knitting or studying something or other to keep the brain active as well. One thing I do if I have several things on the go at once is just to allot time slots to them...an hour of gardening, an hour of painting and decorating, half an hour cleaning the bathroom and so on. Don't beat yourself up Kev, you're doing just great!

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    1. I think one of my reasons for the video was to try and make people feel less guilty! Lol, just to show I struggle with it as much as anyone else. Thanks for your comment Sue, I like the idea of blocks of time as well, I did that last year and it worked well, but haven't managed anything like it this time!

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  4. Fortunately, while I always know there is more I can be doing, I was born to be comfortable with not doing it all and spending a day or afternoon relaxing. My wife on the other hand is more like you and has a hard time sitting still.

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    1. It's a nature/nurture thing I think! Dad was always trying to push forward so I suppose it's natural that we followed him in that way.

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    2. Holy SMOKE, Kev! You can only do so much in a day! If you ever look around a farm... ANY farm, on EITHER side of the pond, you'll see stuff sitting around. Something stopped working and it sits where it stopped. The barn could use a coat of paint. A fence needs fixing. There's ALWAYS too much to do! I guess this is why so many flock to the cities and their "convenience." I'll take freedom over convenience ANY day! You don't need to feel guilty. familiarize yourself with that famous Russian Dr. Gudenov! If you've done all you can in a day, that's gudenov! If you got to this but not to that, it's still gudenov! ...Perfection is the ENEMY of gudenov! Oh; and for the record, your kids will truly appreciate what you're doing for them, if not right now, surely later on. I only WISH I had the knowledge you're imparting to your kids!

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  5. To avoid feeling guilt about not finishing everything that needs finishing, I keep a list and as long as I see things getting crossed off as done, I'm okay. That said, there are always new things being added to the bottom of the list. I tell myself, everything will get done eventually. The thing about owning property, is there is always something new to do.

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