Wednesday 1 May 2019

5 Tips to Enjoying Being a Stay At Home Dad

I was reading a thread on Facebook the other day where a lady was saying her husband was a Stay At Home Dad (SAHD) and often felt alienated at toddler groups and ignored on the school run and people said to her that she was heartless for going back to work and he's not a real man because he's at home with the kids.

Well my experience of it has been completely different! I've enjoyed nearly all of it (there have been some dark times as well though - mainly involving poo...).

So I thought I'd write a post to any potential Stay At Home Dad's out there on how to make the most of it.

Brave The Playgroups
I'm not going to lie, I was pretty nervous walking into a playgroup for the first time. It was a little like walking into a saloon in an old western, the person on the piano stops and every one turns and looks at you.
Luckily for me my wife had been going for a few months before I took over with childcare so my children knew who to play with. I, on the other hand, headed straight for the cake. It wasn't long before I'd made some friends, I'm a fairly gregarious person and I think this certainly helps.
Now five years later I've been helping to run the one playgroup for two years!

Don't take yourself too seriously
It doesn't matter how cool you think you are, now you've got a little one you're going to be in situations that won't make you look cool. Someone once said to me when a two year hands you a fake phone you answer it, and I think this is true.
Embrace it, I've found it quite liberating, you can act the fool around children and they'll love you for it and it's a great excuse around other adults!
Knights & Princess Party - My girls told me I had to be a knight...

Get Involved
This is easy for me to say because I'm a confidant person, but I think things work best when you get involved.
With the first playgroup I attended I put my name down on the cake rota straight away, I wanted to show willing and show that I was doing this properly. The amount of people that asked me if my wife put clothes out each morning or if she still had to cook tea when she got back from work was staggering! I even got a round of applause for being the first dad to bring a cake along.

Don't be afraid to playdate
You're going to have to get over the fact that your social circle is mainly going to be women. Other people are going to have to get used to the fact that "playdate" is not a euphemism for affair! Going out for the day with a like minded parent and children that get along is the perfect way to enjoy what you're doing. I love having people over for lunch or a drink. The children play, I get to chat, everyone is happy.

Tell The Truth
Don't be afraid to tell people the truth about your children. I've rarely been to a playgroup where someone is saying how perfect their children are. In fact I love going to playgroup to vent to my friends about some of the things I've had to deal with that day or what they've just done! Sometimes it's just nice to sit and listen and talk about other things but it's pointless to pretend things are always good just to keep up appearances.

Being a stay at home dad has easily been one of the best decisions of my life and I feel so fortunate to be able to do it and have a wife that supports me in this. It enabled me to do so many other things and best of all I get to spend time with my children as they grow up.


  1. How sad that people still think like that today. Still a long way to go before stay at home dads are accepted in some quarters. Why shouldn't they stay at home, whatever makes them, as a family, happy. Mind you, I have met some stay at home dads/mums who are just that, stay at home but don't do anything much to help out their working partner.

    1. I must admit that during this time of year the house does get neglected. We still eat well but not much tidying up gets done but I'm so busy growing everything I can! The kids are feral this time of year as well, just out ever minute they're back! Makes me smile to see them grubby and having fun.

  2. My brother-in-law was featured in the local newspaper for being a SAHD. His older child is 22 now. To tell the truth, I'm not really sure I have seen it here in the US, but I suppose it must happen.


  3. i think my son will be a sahd when they have kids and i love the idea. that photo of you is classic. your children are having such a wonderful experience with you they are going to grow into well rounded individuals!

    1. He'll love it if he does. It's so great to spend so much time with your children.

  4. I think you are setting your children high standards when they come to choose their life partners!


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