5 Tips to Enjoying Being a Stay At Home Dad

I was reading a thread on Facebook the other day where a lady was saying her husband was a Stay At Home Dad (SAHD) and often felt alienated at toddler groups and ignored on the school run and people said to her that she was heartless for going back to work and he's not a real man because he's at home with the kids.

Well my experience of it has been completely different! I've enjoyed nearly all of it (there have been some dark times as well though - mainly involving poo...).

So I thought I'd write a post to any potential Stay At Home Dad's out there on how to make the most of it.

One On One Time - Dad Daughter - kayaking & Walking

I'm lucky that I spend a lot of time with my children, being a stay at home dad has been one of the best decisions of my life. 

One thing I always enjoy is when I get to spend a bit of one-on-one time with one of them. Finding time to do this can be hard as they're quite a tight little group! 

Just lately, to add to the stupid amount of things I try to fit into my life, I've become a new Beaver Scout leader. I'm only learning at the moment and I've managed to rope in a couple of good friends as well so we're all learning together. It's been great fun so far with loads of activities and it's been brilliant to see my eldest interact with her peers in a way I wouldn't normally.

George's Marvellous Medicine

I was dealing with a very teary little boy yesterday morning, and it took me about an hour to even get him dressed! So I took some time to snuggle up in bed with all three kids and read some more of George's Marvellous Medicine by Roald Dahl. 

All three are totally transfixed by it, and my daughters kept laughing at his descriptions of the mean old grandma in the book. My eldest was even keen to have it read to her instead of telly time. 

I'd read somewhere that he makes a master story teller out of all of us, and I certainly feel that's true.

You can't help but do funny voices and get caught up in the moment, my voice was hoarse afterwards!

Such a fun book to read aloud! One of the thing I was so excited about when we decided to start a family was that I was going to have children to read to and make fall in love with books like I have.

What's your favourite book to read out loud to children?

Back To Being A Stay At Home Dad!

Time to switch back again - Yesterday was my last day at full time work for a while! 

I've been back at work full time for nine months and it's been a busy nine months! 

Being a self employed carpenter I initially worried whether I'd find enough work to keep me going, switching from part time to full time, in the dead of winter can be tricky. As it turned out I've not had a day out of work since Christmas and I've not driven more than five miles for it other than a couple of times. 

Turns out that as I've immersed myself in my local community they've supported me back. 

I've got work from the playgroups I used to go to, recommendations from friends and family and from people who I've previously worked for. I've not advertised at all and I could have easily booked myself up well into next year. 

Wife and happy children

But I'm not going to! Instead I'm going back to being a stay-at-home dad and looking after my three children full time and I can't wait!

I'll still be working (probably far more than I should be) I'll be building things in my workshop to sell in the evenings, I'll be working for customers on Saturdays and school holidays and I'll still be building the extension and doing up the house.

On top of this I can try, with the help of my little helpers, to get back on top of the garden, grow more than ever before, preserve the bounty, manage our animals, and hopefully even have some produce to sell! Being at home more allows me to get some of these things done, in between the school and play school runs, nappy changes and meal times. I love my busy life! 

I do feel guilty that my wife is going back to work, but as the one who is fully employed it makes sense for her to be working full time (she also is entitled to far more holiday than I'd ever get!). The reasoning behind it is in this old post here.

Hopefully you'll all stick around again to offer support and advice and an adult voice when I've been surrounded by three children under five for a full day! 

Stay At Home Dad Again - Taster!

My wife had to go back into work for a day yesterday to meet her new class and to make their transition as easy as possible. 

It's the first time I've had all three of them for the whole day, and the longest Alistair has gone without his mummy (or her milk)!

It went brilliantly, I've really missed it and can't wait to get back to doing it again in September. 

We went to playgroup, Baked bread, cookies and cake, it was great fun and all the kids seemed to enjoy it.

Alistair was a star and only cried once all day, his sisters shower him with attention when they're around him and his eyes light up as soon as he sees them, it also makes my job easier! 

So I'm back to work today (locally working on a big hotel extension) but I'm counting down the days until I'm back of with them, but feeling rather selfish as I do as it's also counting down until my wife goes back to work full time! 

One Week Left...

I'm on the countdown at the moment, I've only got one week left of being a stay at home dad until my wife breaks up from work for her maternity leave. 

This means that I'll be going back to work full time until at least September next year.

So much less of this:

The girls enjoying the spoils of my jam making! 

 And more of this:

Although hopefully I won't look this grumpy all the time!

And this:

Some of the flooring I've been laying lately

So I've got a week of play dates, meeting friends and last minute things to do before I go back to work, and a list of things I should have done as well. To be honest I've been working all I can in any spare moment, so to reduce my night time working (11 most night this week) might not be a bad thing, but I know I'm going to miss spending so much time with the girls and being here so much. 

One thing I am planning on doing is to make more from home to sell on-line. 

So any ideas of wooden things to be made to order that you've struggled to find in the past, let me know. I'm trying to build a list of items I can make in the workshop to keep me at home more. 

Apple Picking

Apple picking is good fun when you've got the right help. 

These pictures just make me smile. 

When I was up the tree she kept saying "careful daddy". What a helpful little two year old (if I can stop her eating them!)! 

The Hedgehog Fiasco

Now this little fiasco is nothing to do with the fact that the stuffed animal below is a badger. My eldest calls it Hedgehog and it is one of her most beloved toys. Many an evening has been spent looking for this little bugger before the girls will go to bed. 

His small size and subtle camouflage make him perfect at hiding in the messy jungle that is our living room. His frequent hiding places include toy handbags, pushchairs, behind cushions on the sofa , inside shoes. Anywhere to keep us guessing (and swearing) really. 

The one and only "Hedgehog" 

 His little tricks did go up a notch somewhat the day we got back from holiday. 

That night we put the girls to bed and had to say that Hedgehog was playing hide and seek and they could play to find him in the morning. That bought us a little more time. We came down and went through all our luggage, checked the car, anywhere we could think of. 

We both fell into the sofa and looked at each other. 

Hedgehog was gone.

On the way back from holiday we'd stopped at a big stately home for a picnic, it was the last time either of us could remember seeing him, he must have fell out of the car.

Now I'm not one to anthropomorphize stuffed objects but I did feel a little sorry for the furry little guy that night, lay in a field somewhere, but I also felt a little bit crap as a father knowing my little girl was going to be so upset the next day.

I hatched a plan. 

We brought Hedgehog from a National Trust property a year or so ago. That next morning I rang round a few local National Trust properties and found one that had a toy Hedgehog badger that matched Hedgehogs description. 

As soon as they opened I was off. Within an hour I was back with a much fluffier version of the toy we all loved. I even kept him in the footwell of the car and kicked him round a bit to dirty him up. 

I then loaded the washing machine and chucked Hedgehog The Second in with it. I called my daughter over to help me get the washing out. 

She found him. 

She looked at him, saying nothing.

Then looked at us.
Seconds ticked by.
She looked back at Hedgehog.
Had we been rumbled?

"Hedgehog got fat." She  finally said

"He's just fluffy from hiding in the washing machine" I said "Silly Hedgehog"

"Yeah, silly Hedgehog" replied my eldest. "Tonight I won't cuddle him, I'll sleep on him to make him thin again"

I slept contented that night that I'd been a good dad and kept my girl happy. 

The imposter 

The next day at work my wife text me.

" Just been presented with a skinny Hedgehog "Look mummy, he's all skinny again!" Don't know where she found him. Little £$%£!"

Guess we hadn't lost him after all.

Bugger.

Summer Of Work Finished

 Today my wife goes back to work so I'm back looking after these two little terrors! 

The summer has been stupidly busy with plenty of (paying) work and still lots for me to catch up on even now.  I've did my usual and took on far too much and things here have suffered a bit. The garden isn't looking as good as it should be, but I have kept on top of looking after the animals and other projects like the porch have just stood still. 

My weekends are booked for quite a while yet with more work, it's a viscous circle really as I need to work for the money to do the projects but because I'm working I can't do the projects themselves! I'm sure I'll catch up at some point.

Who else is struggling for time to do things?

Outnumbered

Or soon to be! 

Soon to be two big sisters! 

A couple of you already guessed what my exciting news was going to be but I'll tell you all anyway - Baby number three is due on the 8th of January! 

We're both really excited and my wife is saying that this definitely will be the last baby (but we'll see if I can persuade her on that one further down the line!). We had the 12 week scan yesterday and everything looked good so now it's just a waiting game. 

The downside is I'll have to go back to work full time for 8 months but its a small price to pay in the long run.

Better get started on that extension I think!

My Day Yesterday - Hour By Hour

Yesterxday was busy but that's not unusual! I thought I'd write down what I did so I could remember the odd day here and there in the future.

6.00 - Alarm goes off - I fall back to sleep as I was on a job in the evening the night before and didn't get back until 10.20

6.30 - We get up, our other alarm in the form of two small children come and wake us properly!

6.45 - Check the sheep,

7.00 - Feed the chickens, change their water and let them out, open greenhouse. Wife goes to work at this point

7.15 - write blog post and have a quick look at other blogs whilst the girls are playing

7.45 - Dill the bricklayer turns up to start work on the porch. I've already got him the power and other things set up so he can start work straight away (after a coffee of course!)

8.15 - Have breakfast - musli for me, the girls had rice crispies

8.30 - clean the girls teeth and get them dressed and ready for the day.

8.50 - drop Ev off at playschool for the morning. they were off on a trip to the park.

9.10 - Back home - Washing and dish washer on. tidy kitchen

9.45 - Youngest goes for a nap, bit of milk, a story and a cuddle and she'll be asleep for a few hours!

9.55 - Put bread on to make for lunch

10.00 - Me and Ken (my neighbour and friend) go to make a temporary funnel out of some old posts and wire to make getting the sheep in a bit easier

11.00 Come back to the house and help do some jobs for my bricky mate, move and load out bricks, set up a temporary scaffold and cut a lintel in half for him to keep it moving.

11.45 - Go up to the park to pick up my eldest. We stay for a bit as I think it's unfair to not let my little one play when we're there.

12.10 - Pop to the butchers on the way back to get some meat for the week.

12.45 - Make some lunch for Dill, the girls and me. Cooked eggs and fresh bread eaten outside

1.30 - Peg out washing

2.00 - I take Dill off the brick work to come and help us round up the sheep. This time we were successful.

2.20 - Start sorting out a few of the lambs feet that are lame, A couple of their feet had scaul so got sprayed and trimmed.

2.45 - Treat all the lambs for blowfly - luckily Ken was happy to stay and looked after the girls while I was doing this.

3.30 - Fill the footbath up and run the sheep through it. girls are well back at this time!

4.00 - Get back to the house and get everyone a drink and icelolly - it was hot!

4.30 - Wife gets home early but quite happy I've already done the sheep and don't need her to help get them in

5.00 - Cut wall plates for Dill for the porch and help him tidy up

5.45 - Start cooking tea

6.45 - Eat tea outside - burgers!

7.00 - relax with my wife and the girls for a bit

7.45 - Girls get ready for bed, we take them up and read them a story before putting them to bed

8.30 - Back outside to do a few jobs - take sheep pen apart, water greenhouses, do some little garden jobs, etc

10.00 - Come inside and feel guilty that I've come in when it's still light! Do a bit of blogging to unwind

10.45 - have a shower

11.10 - bed


A fairly normal day but everyday is different. The girls were brilliant today and so well behaved and loved helping. Probably get report by social services for making them help me all day though!

I love not working and being a stay at home parent!

A Year As A Stay-At-Home Dad

Well it's been a year since I've taken over the duties as being the stay at home parent. 

I really wasn't sure how I'd cope with it long term, and talking to my family neither were they! They were worried I'd struggle with the lack of male company and not have enough to keep my mind busy or be productive. 

In fact it's been the opposite, I've made lots of "mummy friends" at playgroup, many share the same type of mindset and enjoy talking and doing the same things as me, gardening, frugality, baking, etc. It's been great meeting up with them and having them to talk to for adult conversation, it's been a year since someone tried to talk about football to me! 

I've also kept myself really busy, I've been working on every Saturday and every school holiday with lots of little carpentry jobs for people and I've had plenty to do on the homestead here, growing a productive garden, baking, housework, decorating, DIY, fencing, planting trees, looking after the chickens, sourcing firewood, saving money... well you get the point! 

Don't be fooled - they're trouble.

Then there's been the best bit - my girls. I've got to spend more time with them than I ever thought I would and it's been amazing. I love every minute of it and even though it's been hard at times, through the tantrums, tummy bugs and pooey bums, I wouldn't change any of it. I feel like I know my girls so well and we have such a great time together, I know in years to come I'm going to look back on this time with fond memories. 

I feel like I'm a very lucky man to have this opportunity and to have a wife would is happy for me to stay at home while she goes to work, without all her hard work none of this would be possible. I married a truly amazing woman who puts up with a lot! 

I'd also like to thank all my blog readers and commenter's for keeping me on my toes this last year, for giving me new ideas and things to try and for constantly encouraging me.

I think everything combined has made this last year the best year of my life so far! 

My 2014

Sorry not many post over the last week or so - We've been busy with family and I've even managed to get some work in.

It's the last day of the year so I guess it's traditional to look back at the last year and see what we've achieved.

Children and family
The first major positive for this year was me taking over the full time childcare. I wasn't sure what to expect or even if I'd cope with it.

Making bread

 It's been amazing and I've loved the opportunity to spend more time with my children than I ever thought I would. We've done loads of things together, from days out, lot of baking (which has become a new hobby of mine), loads of time in the garden and visiting playgroups. Playgroups were tricky at the start as I was just the token dad in a room full of mums, but I've made some amazing friends with like minded people.
the children seem to have enjoyed the time with me as well (or at least I hope they have!) and this summer they were both sun kissed youngsters from spending so much time with me!

Lots of time spent messing around

We've also managed to spend time together as a family which is really important to us, having a great holiday in the summer and still managing to find time to do other things together like swimming and going to friends houses.

Work
I've done the least amount of paid work since leaving school this year but luckily interesting and varied work has come my way to fill up my weekends and school holidays. Only working part time can be tricky for customers to understand but luckily I've got a few good ones that keep putting work my way and are willing to work around the limited time that I can give them.

I've already got a lot of work booked in for the new year to keep me out of trouble and to bring extra money in. It seems that work comes my way a bit easier now so hopefully it will keep coming in.

Homemaking
This has been my best year ever for learning and using homesteading skills. I've had to get to grips with doing the housework and trying to keep on top of washing clothes and cooking dinner every night (and not messing around and ruining it). I've preserved lots of food, experimented with new ingredients and cut right back on the amount of meat we eat, increasing the number of vegetarian meals to make the most of the veg that we grow. I've also got into the habit of baking with the children a couple of times a week and that's something we all enjoy (plus I love cake).

Garden

This has been my best gardening year as well. Not only have we had a great summer but I've also been in it a lot more than usual to take advantage of all that good weather. 

We've grown the majority of our own veg and I've started to experiment with new and usual fruit and veg. I managed to get the new greenhouse up just at the right time so we had a bumper crop of tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, cucamelons and chillies, I also managed to divide the garden up making planning, rotating and managing the veg garden much easier and making it look much smarter. We control was pretty good as well, next year I need to gain better control of the weeds around the fruit bushes and increase my growing area for unusal crops.

Animals
Well we didn't increase much on this front. I didn't manage to finish the fencing early enough so we've just stuck with chickens this year but I've been told by one little girls that she wants piggies next year so I'll have to try hard on that one! The chickens have been great though and except for a fox attack we managed to keep the numbers fairly constant, although eggs haven't been produced much this autumn. We hatched out five chicks in the summer which is a great thing for the girls to be a part of and keeps steadily replacing our stock.

Fields and trees
I managed to plant a lot of trees this last year, with a new 42m hedge being planted on one of the first days of the year. I also started a willow coppice (although growth hasn't been great) and grafted over a hundred apple, pear and stone fruit trees to either be planted here or sold to help cover the costs of my hobby.
I've managed to get all the fencing up (although I've still got quite few gates to hang) and we made some nice hay in the summer, as well as keeping the grass in good condition. Hopefully we'll get some stock next year to help with this.

Major projects
Well in short the one we need the most didn't happen - the extension! By doing private work this year instead means that we should be able to better fund it but it hasn't pushed the project on. I'm hoping that we'll start in the spring once the ground dries up a bit, getting the porch built and then starting the main extension, plus we've got many drainage issues to deal with as well!
I did do a few minor project to the house that I'm really happy with, I finished the living room by putting up shelves and a mantle piece and I did a few projects to increase our amount of storage in the house.

Summary
It's been a brilliant year and I've really enjoyed having this blog to document it, the good and the bad, and all your (the readers) input as well, plus I've loved reading everyone else's blogs. The comments never disappoint me, when I have a question or want advice I get just what I was looking for and normally a new avenue to explore, plus reading other blogs gives me new ideas and things to try and it's nice to know that all over the world there are people out there who are just as bonkers as me!

Thank you all for reading and I hope you continue to do so in the new year! 

Happy New Year!

Stir Crazy

My time as a stay at home dad has been pretty much positive since I started, but there are times when it's been harder than others. The last couple of weeks have been tough. 

My eldest has been poorly all week

My youngest was ill all last week with a sickness bug and then my eldest caught it this week. It's been a nasty bug, with them struggling to keep a glass of water down at times, but they're both on the mend now. 

We've been largely confined to the house, the furthest I've gone is to feed the chickens or collect in the firewood from the shed. Being at home full time doesn't bother me but not being able to do much outside does. I a lot of need time outside to function and although I've spent most evenings in the shed it's been tough to be so confined, plus the worry of looking after my two girls and wondering if I'm doing things right. I don't think I've ever given out so many cuddles in such a short period before! 

Hopefully both much better today and a trip to the library planned as a treat (and possibly the builders merchants)! 

Does anyone else get stir crazy if they're confined to the house for a length of time?

My Youngest Is One!

It's amazing how fast a year goes! This week my youngest daughter turned one, it doesn't seem five minutes since she was born.

A great day out again at the Safari Park

 Last weekend we used our free return pass to the Safari Park for a cheap day out for her and this weekend we're having a little party for her with some family and friends. Believe it or not we actually spent less on this visit to the safari park than last time as we had some animal food left over!

The "Peppa Pig" cake - although this is actually Philipa Pig, Peppa's ugly cousin! 

She's already had her presents and a cake made my me. 

After making it I suddenly have a lot more respect for the cakes my mum used to make for our birthdays. This one looks like Peppa Pig has had some re-constructive surgery, every time I added food colouring the icing went mushy and then every time I went for the icing sugar to dry it out, poor old Peppa Pig looked like she'd been snorting coke!

The girls managed to work out who it was though, so I guess so long as I  improve each year, by the time they get critical I might have the skills to pull it off!

I can't believe a year has gone already and I'm so glad I get to spend so much time with my girls. Everyday we think we made the right decision with me being a stay at home parent. 

She'll be helping me on the homestead in no time!

Back To Work - For Now!

Well my first stint of being a stay at home dad has come to an end. We always said we've give it until the summer holidays and see if it was working out for us, the children and financially.

Sharpening up ready for a summer of work

 So after three months everything seems to be okay. I've managed to do the housework, cook the tea, do some DIY & painting, maintain the garden so it produces loads of lovely veg and find plenty of weekend and evening work to help our finances.

In fact the work has been coming in thick and fast. For the last couple of months I've been working 3 or 4 evening a week from 8pm to 10pm in a house a customer is doing up as well as lots of Saturday work. 

It's been a case of making hay while the sun shines though as I doubt anyone will want me working in their house at that time in the dead of winter! I've been making preparations for winter though and I might have a workshop on the way - watch this space - so that I can keep building no matter what the weather is doing.

Now I've got lots of work until the end of the summer holidays. Then come September I'm back off again with my girls and hopefully we can keep going on like we have been.

First Week As A Stay At Home

Well I survived my first week as a stay at home dad and I'm about to start my second.

How did it go?

Well the start of the week was great, everyday we spent time in the garden, where I got loads of weeding done and Ev built many sand castles, we baked bread and biscuits, went to play group, roasted rhubarb to have on custard, kept the kitchen clean and tidy, did housework, washed clothes, made nettle soup and planted seeds. 

Then Melissa got chicken pox! 

A bit of an induction of fire really! The poor little thing is covered in spots and is really under the weather. Hopefully this next week she'll start to feel better, then Ev will probably get them!

A Different Monday

So it begins today.

 For a change I'm not making sure that I've got the right tools in my van or the right materials on site. 

 I'm not having to cut wood or fix timber, drill holes or join oak.

 I'm not working out angles or checking for level.

 I'm not sat in my van eating my lunch.

 I'm not climbing ladders or walking on roofs.

Instead I'm looking after these two little terrors all day! 

This should be fun. I hope you all stick around to see how we get on!