5 Tips to Enjoying Being a Stay At Home Dad

I was reading a thread on Facebook the other day where a lady was saying her husband was a Stay At Home Dad (SAHD) and often felt alienated at toddler groups and ignored on the school run and people said to her that she was heartless for going back to work and he's not a real man because he's at home with the kids.

Well my experience of it has been completely different! I've enjoyed nearly all of it (there have been some dark times as well though - mainly involving poo...).

So I thought I'd write a post to any potential Stay At Home Dad's out there on how to make the most of it.

One On One Time - Dad Daughter - kayaking & Walking

I'm lucky that I spend a lot of time with my children, being a stay at home dad has been one of the best decisions of my life. 

One thing I always enjoy is when I get to spend a bit of one-on-one time with one of them. Finding time to do this can be hard as they're quite a tight little group! 

Just lately, to add to the stupid amount of things I try to fit into my life, I've become a new Beaver Scout leader. I'm only learning at the moment and I've managed to rope in a couple of good friends as well so we're all learning together. It's been great fun so far with loads of activities and it's been brilliant to see my eldest interact with her peers in a way I wouldn't normally.

Children At Nursery

This is a collaborative post

Since my youngest has turned two I've signed him up to go to the same nursery as his sister for a couple of days a week. This lets me get some work done at home and around the homestead, I love having them with me but some jobs just aren't possible with a two year old!

I almost feel guilt for sending them but they absolutely love it. They're both social creatures and it really prepares them for starting school.

My Daughters Tooth

My eldest daughter lost her first tooth a few weeks back. Unfortunately it was when I was knocking through the extension so I didn't get to see it happen. On Tuesday she was making a fuss about her other tooth and asked me to help (although a little scared).

I decided to go old school on it and got her to thread a piece of string on to her top front tooth. She was understandably nervous, I made sure she shut the door herself though as I didn't want blaming if it hurt! 

As she shut the front door she stepped forward with it so it didn't work. The string was still slack.

"I've changed my mind dad, I don't want to do it like this"

And with that she walked away from me. 

Still attached to the door. 

POP

Out comes her tooth.

Off she runs. It really shocked her!

She was so pleased to take it into school to show everyone and honestly it was one of the funniest parenting moments I've ever had! 

Do you remember loosing your teeth as a child? Any funny stories?

A Poem For Girls

Saw this on Lucky Sew And Sew and thought it was a good message for my girls. 

Afternoon Drama!

What an afternoon. 

This little one has been helping me all day (we're designing a new chicken coop) and I'd set up a tent for her near to where I was working so she could play as well.
 
Unknown to me she'd taken a flower in there (not sure which one yet) and I thought she must have rubbed some in her eye. She came to me quite distraught and saying she couldn't open her eye and it was burning. I washed it out quickly then grabbing the boy we jumped in the car to head to A&E but she kept falling asleep in the car which worried em even further. 

I wasn't sure what to do so rather than drive to the local town I called at the doctors in the village who luckily saw her there and then. 

They weren't worried and the signs weren't there for anything serious so just antihistamines to put my mind at ease and a good nap for her now so she calms herself down. 

Managed to pick my other daughter up just in time from school as well (well I was late but not too late).

 It's amazing to have a doctors surgery in the village and I'm so grateful that they saw her like that without an appointment (I should have gone to A&E really!). 

I'm not someone who panics but she was so worked up I was unsure what to do. 

Be careful with what your kids play with folks!

** This is copied from my facebook page and since getting home and getting her settled she said that it was sawdust in her eye. If she'd told me this before I would have worried much less. I was thinking it was an allergic reaction but I think now that it'l just that she rubbed it so much. 

Poor little thing but she did make me worry! Feel like a fool for charging into the doctors now though! ***

Some Lightheartedness On Election Day

A few parody videos to make you smile on election day.

First one is a rather catchy farmer one (Ed Sheeran cover)! 

And these two are some parenting ones that are a little too close to the truth! 

This one is another Ed Sheeran Cover.

And this one is a cover of Feetwood Mac

Now that should have made you smile, just one more thing:

Make sure if you live in the UK that you get out there and vote today! 

I don't care who you vote for (well I do but I won't tell you on this blog anyway) but make sure that your voice is heard, even if your party has no chance of getting in in your constituency show them that you support them. 

Knights And Princess Party

My daughter was having a knights and princesses party at school.

Charley knight was coming and they were having a birthday party for him. There was lots of build up and she was very excited about it, best of all we (my other two and me) could come along as well. My younger daughter was really excited to come in a princess dress as well. I said that I'd dress as a princess so we were all the same, but they told me I couldn't because I was a boy! 

Since having had two daughters I'm not a massive fan of gender stereotyping (and it's become more apparent to me how often it happens) and although the girls could go as knights, they all wanted to be princesses (I blame Disney for that one). 

So a friend and I hatched a plan. She'd go as the a knight and I'd go as a princess. This was certainly pushing me out of comfort zone. 

I'd never worn a dress before, let alone in public! 

I'd made the suggestion as a bit of a joke, but within an hour she sent me a picture to show she'd brought me a dress (XXL and it was only just big enough!) so there was no going back on it then! 

So I rocked up into the party in a princess dress, gloves and a wig. 

I got quiet a reception! 

It was all worth it just to see my eldest's face! She couldn't believe I'd done it and had the biggest grin ever. I have to admit to not keeping it on for the whole party, but it was such a hot day! 

I have a funny feeling we're (my friend the knight and another mum who'd dressed as a princess) going to be in the school news letter! 

First Ever Trip To The Cinema

A few weeks ago I mentioned in passing to my eldest how i'd like to go see the Lego Batman Movie and would she like to go with me. Then kind of forgot about it until I came in from working outside on Friday and she was systematically watching anything Lego or Batman related on the box that she was allowed to watch.

Needless to say she was very excited about going to the cinema, so much so that there was no way I could leave her younger sister behind!

So the three of us went on Sunday afternoon, unfortunately our local town wasn't showing it so we had to head off to a small city near us (just a big town really). They didn't stop talking the whole way there, I had to play eye-spy and count the car colours, as well as some other games we invented, to keep them entertained. 

When we got there I was quite surprised at how much it cost for the three of us to buy tickets (shows how often I go) but the man did let the girls have a little pot of pick and mix each for free, which really made their day.

The funniest bit was when we were walking to find our seats, I opened the door to our screen and the loud noise of the adverts came straight at us. 

My younger daughter just pulled back and said, 

"I don't want to go in!" 

And all I thought was,

"This has cost the best part of 30 quid, you're going in!"

But I knelt down by her to let her take her time and she was soon brave enough to walk in there. She sat on my knee through the whole film and would whisper questions in my ear. 

My eldest just sat there with a huge grin on her face, telling me how much she loved it if I asked how she was.

They were both as good as gold through the whole thing, sat still and enjoyed the whole film. The film itself was really funny, I'd say not quite as good as the first Lego movie but still really entertaining. A good first film for the girls to have gone and seen. 

I'm not sure what the first film I saw at the cinema was but the first one I can really remember was going to see Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, which I became a little obsessed with, later worn out the VHS and can still recount the film word for word to this day - a weird skill with not many real life applications! It was at the old Tenbury Regal cinema, a beautiful art-deco building full of character.

I remember some teenagers trying to push in line whilst we were waiting and dad being the only one in the whole queue to tell them to go to the back, when he did everyone cheered! 

So I was wondering, what was your first film you saw or can remember seeing at the cinema? 

Or what was the first film you took your children to see (if you have any)?

Boy Vs Girls

Being a father of two girls and a baby boy makes you realise how different they are.

Our children are brought up in house where we don't enforce gender stereotypes. Having two girls first really brought this home to me, I want my girls to believe they can do what ever they want regardless of what sex they are.

In their day to day life they see traditional roles reversed in our household, my wife is the bread winner whereas I'm the homemaker. 

It made me chuckle the other day when an uncle of my wife's was talking about our extension and said to my eldest "I bet mummy is looking forward to her new kitchen" She just looked at him deadpan and said "And Daddy". I'm the one they see spending more time in there, cooking tea most nights so why would the kitchen be for mummy? 

But with nature vs nurture the nature sure does come out. 

The girls have had a wide selection of both boys and girls toys and have played with them all, but their play is different, the girls seem to have a natural maternal instinct built in, they love to nurse and care for things. 

One year they ask for dinosaurs at Christmas and loved playing with them, but these poor dinosaurs go to tea parties, picnics and sleep overs. The boy has a dinosaur and makes it raw as he hits us repeatedly with it! 

The girls have always had toy cars, for them it's to take people places to have little talking adventures, that's what I call it where they make a little dialog for each person and they have adventures (getting married, rounding up pretend sheep, etc). The boy pushes his noisy police car round the loop of our house over and over, smashing into the skirting board and my feet, laughing if he gets me. 

Then there's the smashing, he loves the smashing! Basically anything that can make a noise gets a smash or a bash, and if I react then it gets hit some more. I can really see where the word boisterous comes from! 

I know he's only just over a year old but the differences have already amazed me. He is still loving and caring, he likes giving out big slobbery kisses and hugs, but he's never still for long and often just jumps on the girls so they'll wrestle with him! 

What is your experience between girls and boys growing up? 

Do you think they're just built differently or is it the way we bring them up (knowingly or unknowingly)?

Stand Up

As well as crawling, the boy has decided to start standing up and he "cruises" around the furniture now! 

Very little is safe! He's getting pretty quick as well! 

First Day At School

Some of you have been following this blog for a long time and have seen our little family grow and develop. 

So I thought it's only fair that I show you this little milestone that we past yesterday - Our eldest started school! 

Proud of my big girl! 

She was so excited to go and was just beaming the whole day. When it came time to go, the teachers said parents could take their child inside the classroom, but when I asked her if she wanted me to she said "you can go daddy". 

I held it together and didn't get too emotional.

Sisters

When I picked her up later in the day she was really happy, having had a great day, and we sat over lunch with her telling me and her baby brother all about it. 

Both my wife and I really enjoyed school so I hope our children will as well, so far I think we're off to a good start on that one! 

First Ever Hair Cut Before Starting School

My eldest child starts school today (and I've written this the night before so I'm not sure if I'm going to be an emotional wreck or not!). 

Yesterday I took her for her first ever haircut to get her ready. Her sister was at playschool so it was just her, the boy and me. She was really excited about going to the hairdressers as it's a "big girl" thing to do. 

We used the hairdressers in the village which is really friendly and a great laugh, I had mine done afterwards and my daughter just beamed at me the whole time I sat there. Unfortunately I have also found out that I'm at the age where she needs to trim my eyebrows (I'm only 33 for pity's sake!).

So proud of her new hair do! 

From there we popped up to the village shop and bought some milk and new poatoes before going to see Rick the butcher and buying some sausages for tea (my daughters favourite). Whilst going about the village I bumped into two of my customers and had a chat with them as well.

It's good to know not a single penny of our shopping trip will be going to a shareholder or company executive, all of it staying a couple of miles from home, and it's good to see my customers doing exactly the same! 

Stand by for the obligatory photo of my daughter in her school uniform tomorrow! Has to be done I'm afraid! 

Back To Being A Stay At Home Dad!

Time to switch back again - Yesterday was my last day at full time work for a while! 

I've been back at work full time for nine months and it's been a busy nine months! 

Being a self employed carpenter I initially worried whether I'd find enough work to keep me going, switching from part time to full time, in the dead of winter can be tricky. As it turned out I've not had a day out of work since Christmas and I've not driven more than five miles for it other than a couple of times. 

Turns out that as I've immersed myself in my local community they've supported me back. 

I've got work from the playgroups I used to go to, recommendations from friends and family and from people who I've previously worked for. I've not advertised at all and I could have easily booked myself up well into next year. 

Wife and happy children

But I'm not going to! Instead I'm going back to being a stay-at-home dad and looking after my three children full time and I can't wait!

I'll still be working (probably far more than I should be) I'll be building things in my workshop to sell in the evenings, I'll be working for customers on Saturdays and school holidays and I'll still be building the extension and doing up the house.

On top of this I can try, with the help of my little helpers, to get back on top of the garden, grow more than ever before, preserve the bounty, manage our animals, and hopefully even have some produce to sell! Being at home more allows me to get some of these things done, in between the school and play school runs, nappy changes and meal times. I love my busy life! 

I do feel guilty that my wife is going back to work, but as the one who is fully employed it makes sense for her to be working full time (she also is entitled to far more holiday than I'd ever get!). The reasoning behind it is in this old post here.

Hopefully you'll all stick around again to offer support and advice and an adult voice when I've been surrounded by three children under five for a full day! 

Supernanny In Our House...

Loved all the comments yesterday, I'm glad I'm not alone in my thinking!

As we've been talking a lot about the upbringing and behaviour of children this week I though I'd share this little gem with you. 

Sol Shared a link yesterday about supernanny US, with some pretty flaky parenting, and it made me remember the UK  episode below.

What I really like about this episode is that it is filmed in our old house! 

Don't worry it doesn't involve us though - this all took place the year before we moved into that village. Within a few days of us being there a neighbour dropped off a DVD of the episode and told us to watch it. It was funny to see our house in such a different setting and to look up at the ceiling and see the dents made by the children as they through their tantrums. Also just look at the colour of the walls, first thing we did was paint the kitchen!

We certainly picked up some hints from watching supernanny in the past, I have to admit to really liking the woman, although it must be a last resort to have your troubles put onto TV. 

What do you think, are you a fan of supernanny? 

Has anything ever been filmed in your house?

Bringing Up A Nation Of Mommas' Boys?

I was reading a blog the other day that was about what they were calling the "snowflake generation" (If you follow my Facebook page you might have already seen the link). In short it's about some young adults that are still acting like children and the one wanting to be called "princess" as that's what her daddy called her!

It really struck a cord with me and made me think that when some parents think they're helping their kids by making their lives easier, they are in fact making it harder in the long run. I can spot them a mile off with the age my children are now, I call them helicopter parents as they're constantly hovering around their children, making sure they're alright and not having any bumps or falls.

At work today I heard a perfect example of the results of this type of parenting with the plasterer's apprentice at work. The day before he was off ill and got his mother to phone in sick for him.

None of us could believe this and the plasterer even said to her that she doesn't work for him and next time only the lad is to ring in. Now he's only 16 so I guess you could let him off, but he's working on building sites with lots of men doing physical work and, I think, should act like a man as well. Hopefully it'll be a steep learning curve that he'll keep up with as he's a nice lad. The mother who thought she was helping him out only really gave a group of builders ammunition to take the micky out of him.

What do you think? Is there a soft generation coming up into the world of work right now?

My Eldest Checking The Sheep!

Before we started lambing the girls were both quite, understandably, scared of the sheep. They're much bigger than them and when you're only three feet tall I imagine they're quite intimidating. They used to hide in the trailer or shed and scream if they came near. 

Of course with my no fuss approach I'd very rarely intervene so they'd have to sort these hungry sheep by themselves, they leant to close the trailer gates by themselves fairly quickly! 

Fast forward a month and they've both become quite fearless. Put a crook in my eldest's hands and she becomes like a warrior princess, ready to charge at the sheep, swinging it around her head! 

I love the little video above where she's trying to catch a lamb to play with it. 

Fearless.

Barefoot Gardeners

The girls have this habit when they play in the sandpit, they like to go barefoot. 

Doesn't matter what time of year or how cold it is, they like to get their feet in the sand.

I've given up trying to fight it and just smile as I see them running across the garden carrying their wellies. Trying to keep them from walking it all round the house is another matter, we make them dunk their feet into a bowl of water before they're aloud in!

Simple childhood pleasures

Rough Hands

Just before bedtime, sat on the sofa my eldest daughter was playing with my hands, she stops looks at me and asks:

"Why aren't your hands like mine daddy?"

"What do you mean sweetheart?"

"Smooth and clean"

I'm proud of every scar, callus and cut on my hands, each tells a story! 

A Year As A Stay-At-Home Dad

Well it's been a year since I've taken over the duties as being the stay at home parent. 

I really wasn't sure how I'd cope with it long term, and talking to my family neither were they! They were worried I'd struggle with the lack of male company and not have enough to keep my mind busy or be productive. 

In fact it's been the opposite, I've made lots of "mummy friends" at playgroup, many share the same type of mindset and enjoy talking and doing the same things as me, gardening, frugality, baking, etc. It's been great meeting up with them and having them to talk to for adult conversation, it's been a year since someone tried to talk about football to me! 

I've also kept myself really busy, I've been working on every Saturday and every school holiday with lots of little carpentry jobs for people and I've had plenty to do on the homestead here, growing a productive garden, baking, housework, decorating, DIY, fencing, planting trees, looking after the chickens, sourcing firewood, saving money... well you get the point! 

Don't be fooled - they're trouble.

Then there's been the best bit - my girls. I've got to spend more time with them than I ever thought I would and it's been amazing. I love every minute of it and even though it's been hard at times, through the tantrums, tummy bugs and pooey bums, I wouldn't change any of it. I feel like I know my girls so well and we have such a great time together, I know in years to come I'm going to look back on this time with fond memories. 

I feel like I'm a very lucky man to have this opportunity and to have a wife would is happy for me to stay at home while she goes to work, without all her hard work none of this would be possible. I married a truly amazing woman who puts up with a lot! 

I'd also like to thank all my blog readers and commenter's for keeping me on my toes this last year, for giving me new ideas and things to try and for constantly encouraging me.

I think everything combined has made this last year the best year of my life so far!